5 Steps to Chasing a Dream During the Sustainment Stage
If the sustainment phase feels like everyday life, at least as much as possible, then we can treat our dreams similarly to how we would if our spouses were home. I'm talking about the usual three steps to achieve a dream and adding the two steps before that process. Whether we find ourselves in the sustainment stage or living a "normal" life with our spouse at home, this is where we always begin and end when it comes to our dreams.
1. Decide to dream
Dreaming can come very naturally to us, or it can be something that we struggle with frequently. It really depends on how much our dreams have been supported or belittled throughout our lives. It also depends on the state of our lives currently. If we struggle to pay our rent every month, then our dreams shrink to the size of our problems. We dream of finding a higher-paying job, cheaper childcare or a raise to the BAH. We have to have our bare minimum needs met before we can open ourselves up to bigger dreams.
In the middle of a deployment, we may dream of the homecoming. Maybe we dream of taking the vacation we've always wanted during the R&R time. Maybe we dream of training to run a half marathon with our spouse. Maybe we dream of watching our spouse teach the kids to ride their bikes. We can also dream of things far beyond the deployment we are in, like where to live when they retire from the military, opening our own law firm (I've been watching a lot of Suits, so lawyers are at the front of my mind), or taking a family trip with our kids and grandkids.
Depending on where we are in our lives determines how big and long-term we can dream. But our first step will always be deciding to dream and opening ourselves up to bigger and better possibilities. We must know what we want and need in life. And we must determine that we are willing, able and worthy to ask for those things.
2. Decide to Prioritize
Knowing our dreams and deciding to pursue them are two different things. We will have many dreams, but we won't chase all of them, at least not at once. We may never pursue some dreams, simply hoping they fall into our laps one day. Some dreams we will chase with everything we've got. We have to pick which dreams are the most important to us right now and decide to make room in our lives for them. I know we are all busy. I know we are all strapped for time. I also know that we show up for the things that matter, and if we decide that our dreams matter, we will figure out how to make space for them to be achieved.
Prioritizing our dreams is always a simple decision. But it is certainly not always an easy task to execute. The good news is that we have a pretty solid handle on our schedule and responsibilities when we are in sustainment. The bad news is that we are probably already booked in every aspect of our lives. We must decide to prioritize our dreams because, without that decision in place, it is easy to write off our dreams for another day when we are less busy. And I'll let you in on a secret: until we are intentional about becoming less busy, it'll never happen. We have to choose to be busy with the things that matter most.
3. Make a Plan
I know you've heard this before, but I will not stop talking about this process because it is so important, simple and effective. Planning means figuring out how to get from where we are to where we want to be. It means figuring out how the time, money and resources piece together in a way that works for our lives and our dreams. It does no good to create a plan that isn't going to get us where we want. Creating a perfect plan is equally bad if we cannot accomplish it.
We need to make a sustainable plan for our life stage. Today's plan for my dreams looks very different with an active nine-month-old than it would with a fifteen-year-old. Our dreams will also demand more or less of our time and attention, depending on what stage we are at with them. We need to make sure that we can give our dreams and other priorities the attention we want them to have. If being at every little league game is important, then make a dream plan that allows for that. And if we only want to watch the last game of the season, then make sure that we prioritize that day. There's no right or wrong answer to that question across the board. The correct answer will always be what works best for your family and how you approach life.
Making a plan isn't just about slapping together a checklist that looks good. There are so many plans in the world that we could find for our specific dream. I have read many posts and books on how to get published. But each person approached that dream in their own way, with their own priorities and values in mind. I can take pieces of each plan to make my own, but it is unlikely that I copy and paste directly from someone else's life. We must have the grace and courage to be honest enough to make the right plan for our lives.
4. Stick to the Plan
Once we have the perfect "for us right now" plan in place, we have to act on it. A good plan is only as effective as its follow-through. We need to consistently show up for the plan we created, whether daily, weekly or monthly. Some plans require a lot of activity, like running daily to train for a marathon. Some require a lot of thought, like studying for a doctorate, and others require a lot of not getting in the way, like trusting that we have raised our children to make good choices rather than micromanaging our adult children (currently thinking about a friend whose future mother-in-law is really struggling with this). We need to ensure we can stick with any plan we create. The time will certainly come when we go back a step and rework things for our lives and dreams, but no matter how often we go back to the drawing board, we continue to stick to the plan until we come up with a better option.
5. ALWAYS DELIVER
This is the final step to every dream plan and where we actually achieve it. Sometimes, we do this right away; other times, we hold off until a better moment. Either way, the finish line is in sight, and the only thing left to do is cross it. While this may be the victory moment of a dream, we only made it this far because of the four steps prior. We are here because we earned it, which makes achieving a dream so beautiful.
So, whether we are dreaming of next month, homecoming or life beyond the military, we need to make room for those dreams. We need to find ways to advocate for, prioritize and support those dreams. That's the only way we'll ever see them come true. It is always a choice to make our dreams come true. It will always require effort beyond our current lifestyle. And while there will never be a wrong time to start chasing a dream, there will never be a perfect one, either. But the sustainment stage is as close as we can come to "regular" life, and that stability might be the push we need to take the next step.