Developing Self-Discipline
If we can't depend on motivation to carry us through to achieving our dreams, then we have to depend on ourselves. The good news is that we have been relying on ourselves to get through things for a long time. The bad news is that we may not have used the best strategies when left to our own devices. John Maxwell talks a lot about the fact that decision-making is overrated while decision management is underrated.
Often we put way too much stock in what our decisions will be. The reality is that no matter what we decide, if we don't follow through, then the decision is useless. I've seen this a lot at big conferences. People tend to make big decisions during bigger events. When approaching things with a higher energy level, people are often more willing to commit to something they may not have been on an ordinary day. It's the same thing that happens when having a fun night out with people. I would never commit to an event that keeps me out until 11 at night, but if I'm hanging out with friends, I will push my leave time until the fun is over.
There is power in making a big decision, but the real power comes from managing that. It doesn't matter what you decide at that event if we aren't willing to follow through that Monday when we find ourselves alone with our work. The hard part is doing the work that we committed to, day in and day out, until we see the results we are looking for. This is where we have to depend on ourselves and our ability to discipline ourselves. So, let's talk about some strategies to increase that discipline muscle because I think most of us consider ourselves on the weaker side in that area.
Start Small
I know we would all love it if our "zero to hero" moment could happen over a three-minute montage. Life would be much easier if all it took were listening to "Let's Get Down To Business" to find ourselves fully capable of defeating the Huns, but life doesn't work like that. Going too hard or too fast will just burn us out and ultimately slow our progress. Instead, we need to start with small, manageable changes and work our way up to where we want to be.
Build The Why
We have these dreams for more reasons, far beyond the fact that they sound incredible. And we'll find it easier to achieve the dreams we have many reasons behind. For example, I dream of having a house that is 8,000 square feet one day. I picked that square footage because that is when a house is generally classified as a mansion (although there are no concrete rules on that classification). But I have that dream for far more reasons than the title that comes with it. I want that house because I want to be able to host lots of people comfortably. I want our house to be the hangout house for all of our kids and their friends. I want that house to be my forever home (so obviously, this is way off in the future when my husband retires from the military), which means that I want it to be able to sustain lots of traditions for my kids, grandkids, and maybe even great grandkids. As our family grows, I want our house to be able to accommodate that growth without any issues. So, while buying a giant house may not be the most mission-focused dream, there is a big reason behind it that can keep me focused on long-term savings and an income plan. The more reasons we can put behind our dreams, the more fuel we have to keep ourselves committed.
Identify Obstacles Early
In the world of sales, we always want to tackle an objection before it happens. The same thing applies to chasing our dreams. If we can make a list of potential issues and possible solutions to those problems, we have a better shot at handling them when they arise. For example, writer's block is a problem I run into with my blog. If that pops up at the last minute, I have very little room in my schedule to find inspiration and finish my writing on time. But if I know that writer's block will eventually happen, I can set some boundaries in place today to know where to find that inspiration and make sure I have time to struggle to write.
Replace Old Habits
Many of our dreams will require doing more than adding in new things. They often also require cutting out some old things that weren't serving us. Changing habits is incredibly difficult. When we resolve to change something, we have to immediately replace that hole in our day with something positive (or at the very least neutral). If we have a habit that we want to break, like spending the first twenty minutes of our day watching reels on Instagram, then we have to replace those twenty minutes with something else. Maybe we aren't ready to hop out of bed and get straight into a workout, but we can replace Instagram with reading on a Kindle or watching a short video related to whatever we are learning for our dreams. While the ideal goal may be to wake up early and exercise, that may not be the immediate step we need to take. Instead, we need to cut a bad habit and fill the gap because other things are often available that can accomplish what we need.
Keep Track Of Our Progress
Like many other growth things, the practice of self-discipline develops very slowly in our lives. It's tough to see progress made from one day to the next. There's a saying about being one percent better today than we were yesterday. And while that is an excellent goal, being one percent better is very hard to see when we look at our progress over a few days. Only when we look back at weeks or months of work can we see how much change has occurred. Journaling is a great way to keep track of our progress. It doesn't have to be an elaborate "dear diary" entry. It can simply be a tracker of the day's highest high and lowest low. Over time, we will be able to look at how our perspective on those highs and lows has changed; in that, we will see the growth we've gone through. Something that was a low for us a month ago might barely be a blip on our radar today purely because we've developed our skills for handling that issue.
This will be another multi-part post because there are a lot of strategies out there to help build our self-discipline. I also want to break it up because we need to pick one strategy to focus on. Trying everything at once is more likely to overwhelm us into failure than to push us toward success. Piece by piece, we will see the progress we strive for. Growth will come; we just can't rush our dreams and who we are becoming.