A Path Forward
I hope you were able to create a list of 100 dreams this week and then narrow that list down to create a focused path forward for this year, but I understand if you weren’t. Military spouse life demands a lot from us, and if you are like me at certain points over the last five years, then you may be completely underwater. Dreaming is very hard when you can’t even tell which way is up.
It took five years before I really felt like I hit a point where I could roll with the punches. I am by no means perfect, but I have also grown a thicker skin so that I don’t have to put my life on hold when the military throws a wrench in our plans. It also took four almost deployments before I figured out how to act until we knew something with certainty.
Three of those almost deployments happened this year. A tasker came down, and we knew my husband was in front of the line to take it. We knew the odds of him going were close to 85% just because of how few people in his squadron could fulfill the specifics of the assignment at any given time. He went on the third one this year, but I still count it in the almost category because he only ended up being gone a week. It was the longest week of my life, but it still beats six months.
I put my life on hold the first time we had an almost deployment. Nearly two years ago, I was on a plane to Denver for my first solo trip since having our son. I never made it off the ground because the call came in that my husband needed to deploy. He showed up to work the next day with packed bags, and they told him when he would leave. That time came and went, and three other times before they called off the deployment altogether.
I got off the plane because I didn’t want to miss the chance to kiss my husband goodbye, and we didn’t have a backup plan for our son. But I have lived with the frustration that I paused my life for something that never happened. I didn’t want to do that again; this year, I finally managed that task (at least somewhat).
All of this is to say that if you feel like military spouse life is more than you can handle, that’s ok. You aren’t alone; every seasoned spouse who came before you once felt the same way. I certainly did.
Our dreams are essential to who we are, and we should explore every aspect of ourselves, trying to bring them out in the open. But that doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and it certainly doesn’t stop the flow of military punches. So, I want to spend the next few weeks discussing the essentials of military spouse life. I want to answer the big and small questions that every military spouse asks and point out the connections that those questions hold to our dreams. Five years ago, I was a newly married military spouse living in a new state, half a country away from everyone I knew and loved. I had no clue how to manage this life, let alone thrive in it, but I knew that there was a burning dream deep in my heart that demanded to be achieved. I was not going to sacrifice my dreams for the military, so I looked for a path forward, and maybe, just maybe, I can help you find one, too.