Daring To Dig Deeper
Today, I made a brave first step. I applied to be a presenter at the 2024 Pillar Online Deployment Retreat. I have attended this retreat for the past few years. I think it is an incredible resource for those in a deployment, preparing for a deployment, or just getting over a deployment because we know there’s always another one coming. The coping skills and strategies that help us in a deployment also help us on the outside. They can help us in day-to-day life as well as through any PCSs or TDYs that come up.
I’ve thought about applying for the past few years, but I always let the deadline pass without submitting. I made it happen this year because I am ready to take bigger steps and make bigger commitments to my dream. I don’t know the odds of me being selected (I should hear yay or nay on April 15, so I’ll keep you updated). I wanted to share my pitch here today, though, for a couple of reasons:
1. This is another way to share my expertise and passion, so maybe another speaking opportunity will pop up. I’d be happy to learn more about your events and am always delighted to travel to speak. You can always get in touch with me directly through the contact page on the website.
2. This might help someone else who dreams of speaking and isn’t sure where to start with the questions that always appear on speaking request forms. This is by no means a perfect layout, but it’s what I’m trying. Please let me know if something different works better.
3. I want you to see in real time that I am in the trenches as much as you are, and we are figuring out this thing together because it is worth it. These three questions always appear on these forms and have been the trickiest for me to answer before. Hopefully, this helps you, or you can point out where I went wrong so I know better for next time.
1. Tell us a bit about yourself and your background
I have been a military spouse for just under five years. During that time my husband and I have been through 1 deployment, countless TDYs, two PCSs, and welcomed one amazing little boy into the world. I have operated as a key spouse in two of the squadrons that we have called home, working with three very different commanders. It took me a long time to identify with the term “military spouse.” I was always keen to say that I was married to my husband, who was in the military, but that did not make me fall under that category. There was so much baggage associated with that term, and I struggled (and still do) deeply with the amount of control that the military holds in our lives. Despite that control, I have spent the last five years learning how to live life to the fullest, even when it may not go exactly as planned. My husband is making his dream of serving the country come true, and I will not put my dreams on hold for the next twenty years. I’ve encountered far too many spouses who had to put themselves on the back burner for the sake of a military career, and I decided I would find a way not to let that happen to me and hopefully no one else. That’s how I got started with writing my book, running my blog, and creating my soon-to-be-launched one-on-one coaching program. I also work within the financial services industry, helping families with wealth management while helping sales agents stay accountable to their dreams.
2. Proposed presentation title
The Power of Dreaming: Finding And Achieving Our Dreams Within The Constraints Of Military Life
3. Please share a brief outline of your presentation idea
I have seen military spouses put their dreams on the back burner countless times. The struggles of constant moves, deployments, and unemployment make pushing our goals to the side easy while waiting for the “right time” when life settles down. I decided a long time ago that I did not want to sacrifice twenty years of chasing my dreams to help my husband with his. As spouses I believe we are called to be dreamers and supporters of one another, but that does not mean letting go of our own. Dreaming, dream chasing, and dream achievement all require bravery because we have to have the courage to hope for something bigger, better, and more wonderful than what we are living right now. We have to dare to dig deeper for the life we were truly created to live.
My presentation will cover three primary points:
1. Discovering our dreams and prioritizing them
It can be challenging to dream during a deployment. Many spouses find themselves so burnt out from the separation and taking on the responsibility of everything that they are just trying to make it through today. Then, we will try to make it through tomorrow until we finally reach the end of the deployment. There’s no right or wrong way to make it through that separation; only the way works best for you. Dreaming helps us look up from that fog to strive for something better. We may not have our dreams come true until the deployment ends, but the act of dreaming and subsequently chasing those dreams can be an outlet for self-expression and hope during a difficult time.
2. Dream chasing
My foolproof plan for achieving every dream I have is to make a plan, stick to the plan, always deliver. The season of deployment is hard. There’s no way around that. Life is hard outside of deployments, too. We often find ourselves a little short on the time, energy, and money we need for the things we want to do, no matter the season of life. Making a plan requires research and understanding. Sticking to the plan involves support and connection. Always deliver means staying in the game (whether we can be all in or just covering the small blind for the Texas Hold ‘em fans out there).
3. Dream achievement
This is always the fun part. Dreams can be held by an individual or any number of people. Dreaming brings communities together, whether we are working on the same mission or totally different goals. Dreaming deepens friendships and family relationships because we start fighting together for a clear picture of the future we want. It is one of the most meaningful experiences to watch someone else achieve the dream they’ve been working so hard for. Dreaming brings couples closer together because we are always looking at brighter days ahead once the deployment is over. It’s a dream come true when our spouses get home, but that doesn’t have to be the only one on the horizon. We can find dreams to celebrate and achieve in so many ways.
I genuinely believe that dreams are placed in our lives for a reason. They can be as big as going to space or ending poverty. They can also be as simple as trying out every coffee shop in your city or successfully growing a vegetable in the backyard. They are everything in between. The power of a dream to come true, no matter how big or small, changes our lives, and the ripple effect of that changes the whole world. I’ve seen too many spouses lose hope in their world-changing power through military life, and it’s time for us to reclaim the power of our dreams so that we can live the life we are meant to live and maybe change the world while we’re at it.
The theme for Pillar this year is Daring To Dig Deeper. I think dreaming is the perfect place to start, and it is something that can be done inside and outside a deployment. I don’t know if I will get chosen, but I have broken the seal on putting myself out there, so something good is bound to happen if I keep trying. Regardless of whether I am a speaker or not, I highly recommend signing up for this free online event. It is well worth the time, and I would absolutely be willing to pay for everything I’ve learned through it. You can always check out their website to learn more: https://pillardeploymentretreat.com