Life Cycle of a Dream
As we go through the process of beginning to achieve our dreams, I want to differentiate some terms. When we read books from the self-help industry, these terms are often used interchangeably. In many ways, they do mean something along the same line, but they actually represent different stages in the life cycle of a dream. I use dream as the overarching term simply because it is my favorite, but you could refer to it as the life cycle of anything on this list.
When a dream is born, it is merely a wish. I know I defined a dream in an earlier post as a wish that your heart makes, but a wish is actually one step below a dream. A dream is merely a wish at the beginning of its life cycle. In a lot of ways, a wish is something we don't particularly care about. Sure, plenty of wishes awaken into dreams, but for many of our wishes, we don't actually want or care to see them come to fruition in our life. We may sit down for lunch and think, "I wish I had Thai food instead of leftovers," but that's not a dream. Most of us don't dream of a better world where we can eat Thai food for lunch every day. We may have a dream of being able to go out for lunch more often, or we may have a dream of learning to cook better, but changing our meals on any given day probably isn't something that we strongly feel would improve our lives.
Think about how often we use the phrase "I wish" in relation to things that we don't particularly care about. “I wish” I had taken backroads instead of the highway so I wouldn't have to sit in traffic. I wish I had packed my sunglasses for this trip. “I wish” I bought the smaller pack of diapers since my son grew out of this size so quickly. If we had the chance to go back to that morning, we would probably make a different decision, but those decisions don't really affect the quality of our lives. And the consequences of making the "right" or "wrong" decision are often forgotten by the next day. These wishes are tucked away and never grow into dreams.
But, there are some wishes that take the next step to become a dream. These are wishes that do have lasting consequences in our lives. These are wishes that, if they did come true, would have lasting value for us. I wish I didn't have to miss my kid's games because of my job. I wish I had a stronger relationship with my spouse. I wish I could fly home for the holidays. Wishes take the step to become dreams when they become valued.
Dreams are cherished. These are things that make your heart skip a beat to think about. These are things that would bring joy and peace to your life. These are things that you would fight for. Wishes do nothing for us. They are merely passing thoughts about how things could have been different. Dreams stay with us. They won't let us rest because dreams promise a new life. So often, our wishes are of the past, but dreams are always of the future. We spend wishes on blowing dandelions, and while we do the same thing to dandelions with our dreams, we never rely completely on the power of a flower to make it come true. Once a dream has taken root in our lives, it can become a vision.
A vision is a dream with its work boots on. This dream has put on its uniform and is ready to go somewhere. A vision allows you to see a future where your dream has come true. A vision allows you to make a plan to bring the dream to fruition. A vision allows you to make better decisions so that you can achieve your dream. A dream is believing in the future; a vision is seeing it. We have to be able to see the future before we can seize it.
Vision is something that we can live in. It is something that we can walk around in. We can touch and feel it. A vision is also much easier to share than a dream. Often when we share a dream with others, they don't understand or believe it is out of our reach. But vision paints a clear picture of what is to come. Leaders cast vision so that the company knows where it's heading. A vision is something that outsiders can latch on to and support.
With a clear and compelling vision, a dream can become a goal for yourself and others. I'm sure most of us have heard of setting SMART goals. These are goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Here's an example to illustrate the difference. I have a dream of seeing James Acaster perform live. A dream is just that, though. It is specific enough so I know who I want to see, but it is incredibly vague on the details. Now this dream has become a goal for me because my husband and I bought tickets to see James Acaster perform in November in Belfast, Ireland. This dream has become specific. It is measurable in the sense that I will know when I complete it after seeing a full performance. It is attainable because he is currently on tour in an area my husband and I want to visit. It is realistic because my husband's squadron will have just left the deployment phase, so we should have no trouble getting leave approved and have time to budget an appropriate amount to spend on this vacation. It is timely because this is all happening within six months.
This is now a goal because I have all the keys to achieve and measure success. On a different note, let's illustrate a dream that has not yet become a goal. I have a dream of publishing my book. It is not a goal yet because I don't know any specifics about who, what or where I want my book published. While it is a measurable goal, I don't have any specifics about what success with publication actually looks like to me. Does successfully publishing my book mean I hold a physical copy or that I see it for sale on Amazon or something else entirely? I believe this dream is attainable for me wholeheartedly, but I don't have a path planned to take my manuscript from my computer into the hands of someone who can do something with it. I'm sure people still question the realistic nature of this dream, and while I don't, I do know that achieving this will take a lot of work and luck. Lastly, this dream isn't timely purely because I have no semblance of a timeline to complete it. I have no idea whether it should or would take me five years or 50.
Eventually, this dream will have its turn to become a goal. Every dream gets its turn, and in some ways, I am working towards that goal because I know establishing a reputation in the industry is essential for success. It starts right here on my website, but I don't have all of the features that would turn it into a goal. My dream of a following on social media and my blog is the goal that is taking the driver's seat right now. Every goal we work on can and a lot of them will feed into other dreams. For many of our dreams, when they get their turn in the driver's seat, we will often find that much of the heavy lifting has been done.
My husband and I have dreamed of traveling to Ireland. I have dreamed of kissing the Blarney Stone (he has no interest and thinks it's pretty gross). I have dreamed of seeing James Acaster live. And in the midst of making that final dream come true, I have the opportunity to turn those other dreams into goals. Understanding a dream's life cycle can be helpful because when we know where we are, we can chart a path forward. When we know that a dream is merely a wish, we can decide to let it go or hold it closer. When we know that a dream is a vision, we can determine if we are ready to enact it in our lives. When we know that a dream is a goal, we know to press forward with our plans to make it come true. I know we have many dreams, and they will all get their turn in the sun, but which dream are we striving forward with to turn into a vision and then a goal today?
