Maybe We Aren’t As Far As We Think We Are
Often, the biggest thing holding us back from our dreams lies between our ears. It's the constant battle that we face in our head between everything that we know we've been and everything that we know we can become. It's the thing that keeps us from asking for what we want. It's the thing that keeps us from trying new things. It's the thing that keeps us from changing our lives.
A lot of times, that voice is influenced by the voices that we heard growing up. If we had parents, friends, and mentors who built us up, our battle might be easier to face (there will still be a battle, though). And if those same voices belittled us, we may have a much harder uphill climb. The opposite can certainly be true, though. Those who were nurtured may find that they are their biggest critic, making it much harder to overcome. In contrast, those who were bullied may discover that spite is a fantastic motivator.
It's a battle that everyone has to face. Some may get off easier than others, but this is certainly not a time for comparison. The reality is that the most brutal battle for you to face is still the hardest battle you've ever encountered. It doesn't matter if the person next door eats that fight for breakfast.
Scrolling through Instagram, I came across a video originally from TikTok. I generally wait the two to three weeks for something to be popular on Instagram rather than downloading another app. The speaker was Ed Mylett, an entrepreneur who made most of his money in real estate and now uses his insight to motivate through his books and speaking engagements.
He was sharing a conversation he had with his dad many years ago. His dad said, "You are not as far away from these dreams as you think you are." Ed responded, "Really, dad?" To which his dad replied, "No, you're actually a lot closer than you think, but because you think it's so far away, you behave in accordance with that belief system, and it always keeps it that far away from you."
I definitely fall prey to thinking my dreams are further away than they are. Knowing what the publishing industry looks like today, I have operated under the assumption that it'll take about ten years for me to get exactly where I want to be. That very well may be accurate, but it could also not be. Planning for success ten years from now keeps me from being disappointed today. It lets me think, "Of course, I haven't made the progress that I want today because I'm not going to get on a momentum track until at least eight years from now."
It also keeps me from operating with a sense of urgency. It allows me to let some things slide that I should definitely be prioritizing. It allows me to avoid stepping out of my comfort zone and act like that's not something I need to do until later. And all of that may be true if I want to wait ten years to achieve this dream. But operating with this belief also means I may never take these steps because I will always push it further down the road. I'll wait until I hit the ten-year mark and decide that it's actually going to be more like twenty.
I'm young, so I probably have time to wait decades to achieve my dream. But I risk never achieving anything because it's always way off in the future. Instead, Ed says we should act like we are one thing away from our dreams. We are one book, movie, contact, relationship, conference, etc., away from having everything we need to achieve our dreams.
This is so true for me, and I imagine it is for you too. The reality is I am one contact away from getting my book published. All I need is to meet the right person ready, willing, and able to take a chance on me. I know that I'm good for it. I just need someone else who believes. So, why the heck am I acting like it's still ten years away? Maybe it will take that long to meet the right person, or maybe they are following my blog right now, waiting for the opportunity to speak to me.
I should be acting with urgency in every aspect of this dream. I should be editing and rewriting sections of my book daily so that it is ready to go when someone asks. Instead, I have completely ignored it since I wrote that first draft (which I know needs plenty of work). I should be working diligently to prepare my coaching program for launch. Instead, I have been pushing it off until life "settles down," even though I haven't defined what that looks like, and we all know that life will always find a way to be busy.
I shared on Friday about how one principle changed my perspective on a dream. I don't know what fruit that'll bring about since it'll be January before I get moving. (I wouldn't generally recommend waiting that long to jump on a new dream, but because this one involves building a new client base, it really doesn't make any sense to start one in Oklahoma that I won't be able to serve very well in just two months). That little tweak could push me a little further down the road, or it could send me miles ahead. We won't know until I start working on it, but the fact remains that one thing pushed me forward.
We don't know how many "one little thing" it'll take to achieve our dream. But we really are just one little thing away. This is why we stay consistent. We keep reading, learning, listening, connecting, etc., with everything related to our dreams. We don't know which book, podcast, or meeting will change our lives, which is why we need to go to everything. With each of these things, I guarantee someone found their life changed, and one day, it will undoubtedly be us. We never know when or where lightning will strike. All we can do is show up in the field holding our pitchforks high (we've been watching The Righteous Gemstones, so that imagery is sticking out in my head). We keep showing up, believing our dreams are right around the corner and one day they will be, simply because we thought they would be and fought our way to them.