The InevitabilITY Of Dreams
I finally got around to seeing how The Blacklist ended. I watched seasons 1-9 during my first few weeks postpartum when all I could do was sit on the couch, feed my baby, and heal while binging TV. The show definitely loses its focus somewhere in the middle, but I felt like the final season was really well done. I do recommend ending the show for yourself about three minutes before it actually ends because that was not my favorite. Still, Dembe gets a lovely monologue just before that, which is what I wanted to share today.
For a little bit of context, the show centers around Raymond Reddington, who has been number one on the FBI's most-wanted list for many years. He turns himself in at the very beginning and offers up the most elite criminals to the FBI. Throughout the years, he helps them catch horrible people who would never have known justice because the FBI didn't know they existed to begin with. There's a lot of drama, twists and turns, and unanswered questions at the end of it all, but it was still a good show, and I've decided to rewatch it as my new background cooking and cleaning show. Dembe is by Reddington's side for many years as a bodyguard and eventually becomes an FBI agent himself (hopefully, that's not too much of a spoiler).
Dembe says, "More than anyone I've ever known, he's [Reddington] always been at peace with death. He says, 'Death is inevitable. It will come for us all, and that inevitably robs death entirely of its significance.' What matters are the things that are not inevitable. The things we create. The things we find. The left we take when everything in our life is leading us right. How we live. I've always loved him for that. For his remarkable refusal to go quietly into that good night."
I've always held the word inevitable close to my heart. There's so much power in that word of the things that must come true. One of my favorite quotes is by Christopher Reeve. He says, "So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." That's why my website has its name. It is founded on the idea that our dreams are inevitable should we ever summon the courage to pursue them.
I've been wrestling with these two quotes in my head all week. Dembe is talking about the beauty of our dreams as things that are not inevitable, yet I have always clung to Christopher Reeve's notion that our dreams are inevitable.
Maybe it doesn't matter. We aren't guaranteed anything in this world other than the fact that death will come for us one day. I've seen enough tragedies throughout my insurance career that I know no one is guaranteed tomorrow. It doesn't matter how well we plan the trip; we aren't guaranteed to avoid a traffic jam. And the outfit we planned out in our heads the night before is not guaranteed to look as impressive as we thought it would.
That uncertainty is one of the hardest parts of life, and it's also the key to some of our most beautiful experiences. I think we are more aware of this uncertainty as military spouses because things change so quickly and frequently, significantly affecting our lives. The same is true in the civilian world, though. People don't always come home. Jobs don't stay the same. People have to uproot their lives all the time for things that feel out of their control. As I thought about these quotes, I asked myself, would I only chase my dreams if I knew the outcome was guaranteed? That's what the Reeve quote tells me. If I go out and work on my dreams, one day, they will come true. It is inevitable. And that is a beautiful sentiment to hold on to.
We've all seen the questions like, what would you do if you knew you could not fail? I think the more important question to ask ourselves is: what would you do if you knew failure was a genuine possibility? Those are the real dreams. Those are the real things that light a fire in our hearts. Sure, I might go skydiving if I knew I was guaranteed to walk away unscathed. But I'm even more willing to chase this dream, knowing there will be bumps and bruises along the way. I know I will face rejection, sacrifices, and hurt along the way, and I still choose to pursue it.
The more I thought about it, the more I knew that I would chase my dreams regardless. I know that they aren't guaranteed. I know that if I work long enough and hard enough, they may not come true. I also understand that the alternative is doing nothing and settling for the life I have. I have a pretty great life, but it isn't enough. I need to strive for something more; otherwise, I will wilt away. I love my husband and son, and I want something greater for all of us. Maybe our dreams aren't inevitable, but the alternative is never betting on something more extraordinary. The inevitable is coming for all of us, and I, for one, refuse to go quietly into that good night.