Trust Your Gut
It was strange buying a house without my husband. We are PCSIng to Georgia in January, but we have too many trips planned over the next few months, so we couldn't spare any leave for my husband to look with me. My mom, my son, and I went out to look. Between two trips, we saw 26 houses, which my husband would never have sat through, though I don't know many people who would have had the patience to do that in the first place, so maybe it did work out.
On the first trip, we saw 16 and picked the best house. I had a strong backup (which ended up not being good at all), so we thought we were in a good position when we left that first visit. Then we got the email that our interest rate had gone up, so we went from being near the top of our budget to over budget. With our current house, we live way under BAH, which we knew we probably wouldn't find again, but going from under to over seemed like a big transition and a mistake. Our lender told us that these are the highest VA interest rates she has ever seen across the board, so if you are facing that battle right now, you are certainly not alone.
Regardless, we decided to move forward with that house. I plan to start working again when we move to Georgia, not that we are spending that if-come (income that only happens if we do something). But we are also moving closer to family, which will significantly cut our need for a travel budget, and with the sale of our Oklahoma house, we will be able to clear up some more significant debts.
So, we put down the earnest money and ordered the inspection. And the inspection turned up a lot of stuff. The sellers were willing to fix everything, but a lot of it was stuff that they should have fixed in the first place. This house was bought originally as a flip, so it was strange that they hadn't fixed the smoke alarms, made sure the doors fit correctly, or replaced the water heater, which was from 1998 (even though they kept insisting it was from 2015). Then there were other things that either they needed to fix or we would need to address three years from now when we turned around to sell. They offered to fix all of our big-ticket concerns, but by this point, my husband wasn't feeling great about the house.
And I hadn't felt settled since we accepted the offer. Going over budget made me nervous. I'm usually a "when you know, you know" kind of person. I make decisions quickly and typically stick with them. That's how it was when we bought our first house. I didn't expect that feeling this time because I knew I wasn't finding my forever home. We will be in Georgia for three years, and while we hope to extend, that may be all we get. This means we have to be able to turn around and sell whatever house we buy without issue.
This house was gorgeous. It had huge windows that I would have to figure out how to clean. The kitchen was green, which I loved, and was a nice change of pace from the all-gray house that we currently have. And it had a massive dining room that we could have done so many things with. But the bedrooms and closets were small. There was no garage, and I needed that for storage space. And the house had an incredibly steep driveway that felt like mountain roads.
Ultimately, everything came together in such a way that I felt like it wouldn't have been an issue if this was our forever home. But it was not our forever home. I just started to feel in my gut that we would get stuck with this house three years from now. After consulting my husband, mom, Georgia realtor, and OKC realtor, I decided to trust that feeling. We pulled out of the house. For the first time in this whole process, I felt settled. After we pulled out, the sellers came back and offered a complete electrical overhaul, which was unnecessary for them and would cost an additional $7,000. That only further proved that we had made the right decision because they wanted to get rid of that house so badly.
So we planned a new trip. My mom, son, and I set out again to look for our new house in Georgia. This time, we looked at ten properties and officially found the one. We did revisit my initial backup house, but when we took a second look, we saw cabinets that didn't fit properly, vanities that were installed crooked, and a front door with no doorknob (it just had two deadbolts). This house was also a flip, and we all walked out feeling like they had just put paint on a pig (my realtor's words, so pro tip: find a realtor who will shoot straight with you about what you're getting into. I've got great recommendations or the OKC and Macon, GA area if you need one).
This time, I decided to look at new construction houses. I had avoided this initially because they all looked very cookie-cutter, which is not my favorite look. But during this time, our Oklahoma house went under contract, and because it was so new, we had only one problem to fix. The other problem was still under warranty from the builder. It made the sale of our house seem very simple and only put us out $200 to get our house ready.
Also, after the ordeal with the first Georgia house, I realized how important it was to be able to resell. That quickly became my number one priority, and newer, bigger houses often fit that criteria nicely. When we were touring the neighborhood that we would buy in, we found a floor plan that I liked. I didn't like the placement of the first house since it was right at the entrance, so I wanted to see if there were more in the neighborhood nearing completion. The project manager happened to walk in, and he took some time to answer our questions. He had friends moving into the neighborhood that he could vouch for. He gave me his number in case I had any questions, and his name was Keith.
Now, I know that doesn't mean anything to any of y'all, but the name Keith has become a green light in my life. Before moving to Oklahoma, I didn't really know anyone by that name. Since being here, though, we have developed three close friends named Keith. They say if you look for a sign, you'll find one, and I certainly did.
My husband did see the house through FaceTime before we put down the earnest money. We talked through the pros and cons of the house, and this house primarily had pros. But his overarching theme was very much, "I trust you. If you think it's the house, then it's the house." I am so grateful that that was his stance and that he trusted me since buying a house is no small purchase. I hope your spouse places the same trust in you so that when we have to make big decisions single-handedly, we know that we are entrusted to act in the best interest of our family.
And along with that trust, we have to trust our gut. I didn't listen to mine initially with that first house. We should have pulled out the second the counteroffer came back as more than BAH. There is a lot of risk that goes into military life. We face a lot of uncertainty and challenges as both the service members and those outside of it. We have to trust our gut. It's the best method that we have in place to guide us through this life in the best way possible. When it starts talking, we should listen the same way we do to our dreams: with a certainty that they know exactly where we are heading.