Two Things We Must Remember When Pursuing Our Dream Job
As we close out discussing the issue of military spouse employment, I want to leave us with two reminders: Be brave and be bold. I know it's cliche to say, but it's true. I also know that we frequently need to be reminded of our capacity and qualification when it comes to certain things. I certainly need to be reminded of this often, so if you allow me, I'm going to preach to myself for a moment, and maybe you'll get something out of it too.
Applying to a new job can be scary for so many reasons. We can worry about the work level. We can worry about how it will change the ins and outs of our home lives. We can worry if we'll be happy. We can worry if we'll be missing out. We can worry that we'll let ourselves or the company down due to life in the military. Honestly, there's no limit to the things we can worry about.
On the other hand, though, there are plenty of things to worry about if we do not bet on ourselves and try. I'm pursuing my dream job here, and I promise it has not all been rainbows and unicorns since I began. But it is far too early for me to throw in the towel and quit because I still see my dream so clearly. I knew, when I began this process, that it would take many years for that dream to develop, so why on earth would I think that I should stop after only a few months? We have to keep up the chase no matter how long it takes (and oftentimes we will discover that it doesn't take nearly as long as our worst-case scenario thought it would).
I have to remind myself daily to be brave and be bold. I am grateful that my dream job doesn't involve writing a resume right now (truly one of the most tedious things I've ever done) or showing up to interview after interview to be told that I am both under and over-qualified for the same position. But my dream job does require a great deal of vulnerability. It does need me to put myself out into the world far more often than I would naturally prefer. It does require me to face rejection and disappointment. But it's worth it. Even the bad days aren't all that bad because I am chasing something bigger than myself.
We must be brave. Bravery comes from within ourselves. We can only be brave in the face of fear. Starting something new always comes with a mixed bag of emotions, and usually, fear is included. It takes a certain level of bravery to step out into something new. Whether we are applying for a job that we've held for many years in a new city or searching for something new, bravery will be required.
Every time I post a new blog or something on social media, it requires bravery. While that may not seem like a big deal to you, it is far beyond my comfort zone. But our dreams always take us out of our comfort zones. We can certainly choose to stay within them, but I think we will find that our brave selves are ready to enter the world.
We must also be bold. Boldness comes out of us. It comes from a level of respect that we hold for ourselves, knowing that we deserve more than what any piece of paper says about us. It comes from defining our worth based on who we know we are. We know our capacities, abilities, and aspirations. We know what we are qualified for. We know what we are capable of. We know where we should be. But it takes boldness to communicate that with the outside world. It takes boldness to declare what we believe. It takes boldness to take up space in the area we want to be in. It takes boldness to ask for what we need and want. It takes boldness to build the life that we dream about.
Being a military spouse prepares us for so many jobs. Sure, our resumes may not look perfect. They may be riddled with positions that we only held for short times. They may have significant gaps from years spent overseas or raising small children (I keep seeing on Instagram that if asked in an interview about gaps in your resume to simply say that you signed an NDA and can't talk about it. Probably a moral gray area for some of us, but if it gets your foot in the door of the place you need to be, and you're comfortable with it, then it is certainly not a bad idea).
How many people in the civilian world have practiced their communication skills across ten different time zones? How many people have picked up and moved everything within the span of a few months? How many people have bought a house sight unseen and made a home out of it? How many people have picked up, moved, and left behind everyone they knew at the drop of a hat? How many people have counted the hundreds of days until their spouse returns home? How many people have gone from dual parent to solo parent and back again (sometimes harder than we think) over and over again? How many people have planned life around plans A, B, C, and D only to be told that it's actually plan H? Wait, never mind, back to plan A?
We have so much capacity. We have done great things purely by being connected to our spouse's military career. We have shown support, persistence, and resilience in ways that so many people could never imagine. So when we are ready to go out in the community looking for our dream job, be brave and be bold. We are utterly and completely worthy of being in our dream job. As military spouses, we must come alongside one another to help in this search. And as community members, we need to open up opportunities to military spouses. Even if their time in a city ends up being short-lived, I think we will all be amazed at the value someone can add when they are working exactly where they are supposed to be.
I hope this helps. Military spouse employment is one of the top issues for families and has been for many years. Obviously, I can't solve anything here. Until there is an act of Congress and a considerable perspective shift about the stigma of military spouses, we won't see an end to this issue. But maybe, just maybe, we can help one more spouse end up exactly where they belong. Knowing where we want to be is the first step, and then we must chase that with everything we've got. Remember, make a plan, stick to the plan, ALWAYS DELIVER! There's still time to make all our dreams come true.