Chili’s Words Of Wisdom
I’m going to stop promising when the PCS checklist will come out. It will be on the blog sooner rather than later, but my own PCS prep is consuming my world right now. And I want to be thorough with what I give y’all so that it actually helps. So today, let’s talk about Bluey.
I’m sure most of us with young kids have seen the show, and there are probably a decent amount of people without kids who have also seen it. It truly is one of the best kids’ shows that I’ve seen, and it’s the only one that we like watching together as a family. I want to talk specifically about Season 2, episode 19, titled “The Show.”
In this episode, it is Mother’s Day, and the kids keep searching for ways to celebrate their mom. After a failed attempt at breakfast in bed, the kids decide to put on a show telling the story of how their mom and dad met. It’s a cute episode and contains a subtle nod to miscarriage that has resonated with many people. Throughout the episode, we learn about Chili’s (the mom) four steps to dealing with challenging situations, so I want to talk about those today.
1. Have a good cry
No one can argue the power of a good cry. As someone who cries almost all the time, this very much resonates with me. It doesn’t take much, good or bad, to bring me to tears. The times when I try to push down my feelings and ignore the tears are when it takes me much longer to get through whatever issue is in front of me.
I know not everyone is a crier. But everyone is emotional. And we have to make space to deal with those emotions. We have to allow them time to be expressed because only then can we work through and past them. Not every feeling has to be “solved,” sometimes they just need to be heard. In the same way that when a child falls down and is upset but not hurt, we still need to acknowledge whatever is causing the emotion, even if pain isn’t the root. They may feel embarrassed, scared, or any number of other things.
This isn’t really a time to analyze why we feel the way we do. It’s certainly not a time to punish ourselves for feeling this way. It’s simply a time to empty the tank on whatever emotions are overflowing. I promise the conversation gets much more productive after the fact.
2. Pick myself up
Now, we can figure out a solution. Having a good cry (or whatever the equivalent is for you) doesn’t actually solve our problem. It just clears our heads so that we can work from a better position.
Right now, I am very stressed about everything that needs to be done for this PCS. I am juggling selling our house, buying the new house, and prepping for the packers. At this point, that means inventorying all of our belongings, which takes a long time. I tend to take on more than I can handle. I put everything on my plate even if it has no business being there.
After having a good cry about how overwhelming everything is, I can work towards a real solution. Thankfully, I am not doing this alone, but I need to act like it. Rather than pretending I can handle everything myself, I need to allow myself to split the load with my husband, who has been ready, willing, and able to help this entire time.
3. Dust myself off
This is the time for self-care in whatever way we can accommodate it. I understand that a lot of times, we are under a time crunch. Taking the day off isn’t the solution for me right now. We still only have four more days at home before the packers come to get everything taken care of. I may end up with extra time at the end, but we can’t plan for that now.
So, in a time-crunch situation, dusting myself off looks like taking a shower or sitting down to watch an episode. Maybe it looks like going for a run or getting out of the house for a few minutes. Maybe it’s something as simple as taking a few deep breaths. These aren’t necessarily things that take a long time, but they do help us reset our minds. Hopefully, there will be more time for self-care later, but we have to find little ways to reset when we can’t fully retreat from our responsibilities.
4. Keep Going
The responsibilities haven’t gone away. They still need to be dealt with. Problems need to be solved, and battles have to be conquered. We are in this place for a reason, though. I know that many times, our dreams bring about these situations. It’s certainly a dream come true to move to Georgia, which is currently the root of my stress. But when it’s all said and done, I know that I will be so incredibly grateful for this dream to come true and the fact that I persevered to get it all done.
I know this time of year is difficult for everyone. Whether we are in the middle of a PCS or not, we all find this season overwhelming. There’s financial stress, family stress, and holiday stress. We have to worry about paying for the holidays. We have to manage family relationships, especially when we can’t accommodate everyone’s needs. And we have to deal with holidays. Maybe we are going home, which brings a whole slew of things to manage, or maybe we are stuck somewhere that we’d rather not be, which brings a whole bunch of emotions.
Wherever we are, I hope we can all hold on to Chili’s advice. Military life gets hard. It’s going to throw curveballs at us, and we have to figure out how to manage it. With whatever stress is hitting you right now, I hope you can find time to have a good cry, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and find it within yourself to keep going.