Emotional Bumpers For Our Dreams
I know that the past couple of posts have been a little ranty. I want to be clear that there are two sides to that coin. On the one hand, I am incredibly vocal and upset about the unacceptable issues affecting our military community. There are issues worldwide, but this is the lane I've picked to fight in. On the other hand, though, it's all just, eh, whatever to me. I can't get so heated that I let it overtake my life because then I wouldn't get anything done.
Scott Perry's remarks were wildly inappropriate, given the situation. I think I did a good job of pointing out the flaws in his sentiment. I could spend my time getting angry about what he said. But there really isn't a lot I can do to change that. He said what he said, and even if he feels differently today than he did a week ago, it doesn't change the words. I could write him a letter or put it on my blog (which I did), but it is unlikely that my words would ever cross his desk, let alone create genuine change within him. The most power I, as an individual, have is to show up at the polls and vote against him, but I am not a resident of Pennsylvania, so I have very little say in what that state chooses to do.
That's the case with most things in life, especially military life. The only thing we generally have control over is our actions and attitudes. It doesn't matter how much or little I want a deployment to happen; the Air Force gets to decide that. It doesn't matter how frustrating constant changes to plans are because the military will not consult me on the matter. It doesn't matter how frustrating or stressful the news of conflict is making me because I don't get to decide what our country does, let alone what another one does.
Sure, we have the power to write letters, vote, and share information that might sway people's opinions, and that may be the right thing to do. But unless we are within a squadron that truly practices family first principles, then we have no power to change. There is power in community and numbers when it comes to issues, which is why we need to be vocal. But for most issues, those numbers take time to gather. So what do we do in the meantime?
We can spend all our time worked up, angry, and yelling in the streets or say "eh," shrug, and get back to the task at hand. This is true in all aspects of life. It's like how they say to pick your battles in relationships. We may disagree with how our spouse loads the dishwasher, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if the dishes still get cleaned. I like to clean the house with paper towels, and my husband prefers rags. It's not worth arguing about because we share the load of cleaning the house, and at the end of the day everything is wiped down.
The shortest distance between us and our dreams will always be a straight line. Take the picture at the top. We are at the starting point and our dream is the star. It will always be quickest to show up every day and do the work our dream requires. For some of us, that would get us there in five weeks; for others, it would take five years. That is all dependent on what the goal is and how far back we are starting. Staying on that line is the hardest part of the job, though. It is so easy to let our emotions dictate our experiences on the way to our dreams. We never want to jump into the danger zones. Those are spots where we let the highs get too high, and the lows get too low.
I work in commission sales, and this is a pitfall that a lot of agents fall into. They go out one day and write the biggest case of their life, so they head out to buy something fancy, drink the night away in celebration, or disappear for two weeks on a vacation. When they finally get back to work, it takes time to find their rhythm so that those big sales can happen again. Conversely, that one big case can charge back six months later, and they are ready to quit their work and dreams entirely. However, if they just accept the fact that chargebacks happen and get back to work, they will quickly be back on a path of regaining whatever they lost.
However, there is still plenty of room for wasted emotions between the line and the danger zone. Often this ends up being things where we convince ourselves that we are working for our dreams when the reality is we aren't making real progress. Worry feels like work, and on the flip side, planning does, too. Both are important. We should have plans and think about the things that could happen so we can be better prepared, but when we go too deep into those things, we can lose focus on the tasks that actually get us where we want to go.
Research is essential for me. Reading and personal development all aid towards achieving my dreams, but spending all day doing those "positive" tasks doesn't get me any closer unless I actually put in the activity. Showing up daily (or whatever time frame our dream demands) to do the work our dream requires will be the quickest way for us to get there. Staying emotionally level through that process will get us there as stable as possible. We all know how much a big emotional day can drain our energy.
This isn't to say that we need to live a muted, emotionless life. That's not possible, and it wouldn't be any fun. We just need to control the peaks and valleys of our emotions. A few months back, I had the most visitors to my blog, and a month later, it was back down to where I'd been. I could spend hours figuring out what was different, how I attracted new people, and how I failed to connect with them. All of these would be good things to know so that I can change course appropriately. But, aside from the fact that I am not computer literate enough to figure those things out, I know I'm doing the right activities, at least right now. If I stay the course, then the peaks will come, and so will the valleys.
Staying steady through those moments makes coming back to the work of my dream a lot easier. I still celebrate. I opened a bottle of wine when I hit my website visit goals, but I didn't take any time off from my writing because getting caught up in celebrating for too long would push me further from my dream. And when things dipped back down, I didn't panic. While I'm sure things were different between the two months, I didn't do anything different, so my best and only action was to get back to work. I am by no means an expert at this, and I let my emotions dictate my behavior far more often than I should, but if we know our goal, it's a lot easier to strive for it and to call ourselves out when we start heading towards the danger zone.