It’s Not Monday Yet
Last week my son and I were lucky enough to attend one of my cousin's college graduations. Somehow our family has managed to make living halfway across the country from one another feel not so far. It is always a joyous celebration watching thousands of people realize their dream of getting a degree, whether it was a bachelor’s, master’s, or doctorate; it was easy to see how proud each of them was of their accomplishment.
And those of us who watched these people on this journey were also incredibly proud of their achievements. It is one of those moments of the journey to a dream where we realize that it was all worth it. Every all-nighter, every stressful exam and every moment of roommate drama was worth it to achieve this dream. I love watching dreams come true, especially when it comes to a college graduation because I get to watch new dreams form.
Each of those graduates walked out with dreams of higher degrees, exciting job opportunities and ambitions for life as a "real" adult. New dreams were born out of that moment, and for many, those dreams will be hard to achieve. Some will trade these dreams for new ones along the way, and others will find that they have everything they need to accomplish the next thing they desire.
The commencement speaker for the NC State graduation was General Anthony Cotton from the Air Force. He is one of only 39 four-star generals. He had an impressive list of credentials. Now that I am a military spouse, I understand so much more about what went into achieving that rank. It was truly an honor to listen to him speak at his Alma Mater (it also gave me a new dream of speaking at my Alma Mater, which is probably a lot more achievable at Wingate University. You see, new dreams really do chase us down if we're out looking!).
He said something that stuck with me, though, and I wanted to share it with you. As he closed out his commencement speech, he said, "On Monday, you may face that new office, but it's not Monday yet, so revel in your status as a celebrated scholar today." So often, we are quick to stress about or get excited about the next thing on the docket. I am incredibly guilty of this. In fact, I wrote a whole piece about how I live in the future. But if we can figure out a way to live in today and tomorrow, then I think we would be a lot of peace and success.
We need to live in today because we must be able to celebrate our victories. Stressing about what comes next only taints our achievements. It minimizes all the work we did to get where we are today because we are worried about the work that will come tomorrow. If there are always bigger problems to solve, then the ones that we have already figured out don't feel nearly as important as they once did. Our past struggles will always look smaller in the rearview mirror, especially when we come up against new obstacles. Still, if we never take the time to celebrate overcoming those previous problems, then we don't reap all the rewards of overcoming as we could. When we take time to revel in our achievements, we are able to fully appreciate everything we went through and all the effort we put in to be where we are in that moment.
We will always need to live a little bit in tomorrow, especially when chasing our dreams. We need to be ready for what comes next. We need to anticipate future problems and obstacles so that maybe we don't encounter them. Knowing what's coming also means we can get out from under it much faster. Our goal will always be to reach our dreams as quickly as possible, whether that means next week or in 60 years. Living in tomorrow allows us to stay on track as much as possible. Living in tomorrow also means keeping the dream alive within ourselves. When we can see our future so clearly, we know that all the work we do today will be worth it. Living in the future will be essential to achieving our dreams.
But, on the day we do achieve them, we do not live in the future. It is in those moments, when the future becomes right now, that we must stay present and engaged. Worrying about achieving the next dream or worrying about what the consequences of this dream will be, doesn't aid us in any way on the days our dreams come true. On that day, we celebrate. Trust me — we will have plenty of time to worry about the things that matter and some things that don't later. Monday will come, whatever that means for each of us, but today is not Monday.
I remember when my husband returned from his first deployment. That was a time when I was completely in the moment. I didn't want to miss a second of that day, and I hold those memories close. I was able to celebrate overcoming the struggles of a deployment. I was able to celebrate surviving 152 days on my own. I was able to hold my husband again after months apart. It was an amazing day. And there would be struggles to follow, but on that day, I didn't think about anything. I knew ahead of time that reintegration could be difficult. I knew he would have to return to work much quicker than we would prefer. I knew that another deployment would be coming, even if I didn't know when.
But on that day, I didn't think about any of it. I just held tightly to the dream I had achieved. It is only because I stayed in the moment that I am able to revisit it so easily and fully remember how it felt to achieve everything I had accomplished during that time. I'm sure we've all had moments like this, but we have to be prepared to live in the moment. If we only ever live in the future leading up to and beyond a dream, then we will not have the skills to live in the moment when we achieve that dream. I don't know what grounding technique works best for you, whether it's meditation, writing down what you're grateful for, journaling the high and low of the day or something else. We need to figure out what works best for us and practice that skill on a daily basis. Being grounded and reaching for the sky may sound like forces that work against each other, and in many ways, they can. If we can combine these powers in our lives, we can strengthen our ability to dream, fight for our dreams and relish in our dreams which will make the journey of our lives so much more beautiful.