Jumping With Fear
I am reaching the point of no return on this new business jump. It's come to the point where I need to put the money into the game, and once that happens, I have to be all in. To go put the money down and then wobble my way through will be a recipe for disaster. It's just like a gymnast must hold their form and confidence throughout a routine. If they start to get nervous or pull back from the big moves it can lead straight to injury.
That said, we don't need to recklessly go into something we aren't prepared to handle. Suppose a gymnast is not ready for the triple backflip. In that case, they don't need to commit to it anywhere other than a practice mat (I don't actually know much about gymnastics, so hopefully, that analogy lands).
As I prepare to officially make this commitment, all the confidence has rushed out of me. The voice of fear has taken over, and if I listened to that I would take no further action. I haven't technically committed anything. I haven't invested in anything. All I have done is tell people my plans and partner with someone who could easily find someone new to work with.
My word is pretty important to me, though. And I shared plans with people who really matter to me. So, while no one would really bat an eye if I changed my mind, I would feel like I let them down. All this swirls around in my head, and I consider letting the fear win because it is easier not to try than to potentially fail. But then I remember what my dad would always say, "fear is a crappy reason not to do something."
The most amazing things in life usually come from overcoming a place of fear. Fighting the nerves of inviting a cute guy over while I study has led to my incredible marriage. Fighting the fear of showing up to an event where I know absolutely no one has marked the beginning of some of my dearest friendships. Fighting the anxiety of getting behind the wheel for the first time has given me the ability to show up for the people I love no matter where they find themselves.
So, if most good things start with fear, then this is a familiar position for me to be in. And I really don't have a good reason not to do this other than I feel afraid. Timing-wise and commitment-wise, it is a perfect fit. It progresses me in areas that I have been looking to strengthen myself in. And I know this has the potential to be genuinely life-changing. If fear is the only reason I've got, then I will go all in.
Life is about jumping with the fear. Nothing is guaranteed, and we don't know what will happen tomorrow. I don't have a 100% money-back guarantee that I will be successful at this. What I do have complete belief that I'm supposed to be trying. And if I'm supposed to be playing, I need to go all in. Maybe I'm holding pocket aces or three of a kind (I only know Texas Hold 'em rules), or maybe I'm holding a really good bluff. It doesn't matter what I hold, though, because I know I am supposed to have a seat at this table.
I can maintain that belief even when the confidence has left me. People make big decisions in big groups at big events. That's what I did two weeks ago, and it is time to put my money where my mouth is. Our integrity is based on doing what we know is right, even when the feelings of that moment have left us. Being a woman of my word doesn't stop just because I'm not feeling it today. In the same way I would show up to a commitment with a friend, I will show up for myself.
I'm going to jump with the fear. But once I jump, fear doesn't get to hang around anymore. We have to make sure we kick it to the curb or, at the very least, take away its voice. It's tough to get rid of fear entirely. It does serve a biological purpose that keeps us from jumping off of buildings or making risky left turns across four lanes of busy traffic. So maybe a better plan is learning how to control the voices in our head. When we recognize that fear is speaking, we take back the conversation by giving our confidence the microphone so they can remind fear why we got started in the first place.
Dream chasing is a constant journey. We don't just overcome fear when we click the apply button, show up for the first day, or climb in the jet for our first real-world mission. We must overcome fear every step of the way with each new choice we face. And we have to remind ourselves that we are all in. Sometimes, it helps to put a timeline on it, going all in for six months. For other people, we commit to going all in until it works because we know one day it will. And for others, we go all in because we know it's the right thing to do.
I'm showing up on this blog three times a week from now until eternity because I know it's the right thing to do. Hopefully, one day, it works, and I've made enough progress that it probably will, but that's not why I do it. I do it because I've committed to be in communion with the dream for the rest of my life. I'm not making as extreme a commitment to this business venture because it is a means to an end. I can use this venture to catapult my success with my military spouse dream. It's not the end all be all if I fail. My communion will continue regardless. But I know that staying all in for the time I have with this venture will give me success and information that will aid every area of my life. So, I'm jumping with the fear and feeding my confidence as much as possible to see the success I've been hoping for.