Keeping The Magic Alive
In this life, it is easy to get caught up in the grind. It is easy to stay in countdown mode for the next TDY, deployment, or move. It is easy to lose the magic. Once we lose the magic, though, that is when things get complicated. This applies to all aspects of our life. When we lose the magic in our marriage, parenting, or careers, things go downhill.
The same can be said for our “fight.” That quality within us that makes us hold on tight to the things we care about. It doesn’t matter how tough things get or how far away the light looks in this tunnel; we stay in the game when it matters. A combo of magic and fight is tough to beat when it comes to getting the most joy out of our lives.
For those that have kids, think back to those newborn days. That was a hard time. Sleepless nights, constant feedings, and so many dirty diapers meant that we could easily hit a period of grinding. For many of us, we did. There’s no shame in that. But I also know that there was a lot of magic during that time and certainly a lot of fight.
I couldn’t and still can’t process how my son is here. He is perfectly magical in every way, and I can’t wrap my head around how he got here. I can’t understand how his perfect little nose was made. I don’t understand how he had the cutest sneezes in the world from day one. I can’t process that, less than a year ago, he was still inside me. I understand the science of it, but I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. He is magical to me in every way. Every middle of the night feeding, every dirty diaper blowout, and all the changes my body endured happened while looking at my miracle.
The same is true for my marriage. I love my husband and the life we’ve built together. When I think of every little and big detail that led us to be together, it is nothing short of a miracle. There are so many decisions in my life that led us to meet in the first place, let alone a hurricane barreling towards Panama City, Florida, that started our dating journey. Thankfully, I’ve never gotten out of the magic of my marriage. Even the hard days and big fights couldn’t take the specialness of our love away.
As much as I have stayed in the grind zone with military life, there has been magic, too. We’ve seen new places. We bought our first house. We’ve survived some things that I once thought to be unconquerable. We have met some incredible people who quickly became family.
It’s not easy to stay in the magic. It does require a decision to be made on a daily and hourly basis, which is no small feat. But when we get out of the magic, that is where there is pain. This is true for our dreams as well.
With every dream, we will hit a point that we have to grind through. There will be a point where the effort we put in on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis looks so similar that the days bleed together. The work will begin to feel monotonous. And the results will still be far away. We have to keep going, though, and the best way to do that is to find a way to get back into the magic. Keeping the fight alive keeps us in the game long enough to discover the magic again.
I’ve had trouble finding the magic in my writing the past few weeks. I think the stress of the most recent TDY, being sick, and solo parenting put me in a negative headspace. Then I missed that post, and I’ve been playing catch-up ever since. I’ve been feeling the magic in other parts of my life, though, like preparing for our trip to Ireland and house hunting for the PCS. Having the magic in those areas has made the gap in my writing feel even more substantial.
But going back through my notes encourages me to get the magic back. The great thing about this is that I am not the magic. I am not what makes this experience special; my dream is. And all I need to do is spend time with my dream again to remember what lit me on fire in the first place. Just because I’ve spent a few weeks grinding doesn’t mean the fight left me. I will keep going because I genuinely believe that my dream has the power to change the world.
Another way that I’m getting back into the magic is by counting my wins. I haven’t been focused on this dream for very long. I have just hit six months working on something that I know will take years to achieve. And I have already experienced victories. My blog was up across all metrics in August (It was back down in September, but it was such a huge win to be up in August). I have texts from people telling me how much they enjoyed some of the posts I’ve made. That means the world to me, and I go back to them constantly. I keep the receipts to remind myself that I’m doing good work, just like Uche kept the receipts to remind him that Lydia is crazy (Who else is watching the chaos of Love is Blind Season 5? I’m definitely not sure who I believe in that saga).
All of this to say, “Find the magic again.” If it’s dimmed in our marriages, plan a date night or vacation to reconnect. If it’s dimmed in our parenting, take some time to figure out what is draining and find some ways to get support in those areas. And if it has dimmed with our dreams, go back to the basics. Spend time with the dream and remember what inspired us in the first place. We started this journey because we knew it would change our world, and that magic can still be found if we take the time to look.