What is Going on at Tinker Air Force Base
I am leaning towards switching things up on the blog a little bit. I was listening to an unfiltered podcast from some creators I love (Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Lindenbach of baremarriage.com. They talk about very different things than me, but I am all for supporting and sharing my love of them whenever). They talked about how the format for their blog is that Monday and Wednesday are focused on whatever series they are working on, and they reserve Friday to respond to current events or things that have happened across the week. At the same time, my dad, who has supported me a lot with this dream, mentioned that I should filter in some shorter posts. So, from now on, that’s the format I will try with the blog. Sometimes Fridays will be shorter, although not every time since I can get pretty wordy, I want to take the time to focus on things immediately happening in the military world around us and the things that I want to share more in the moment.
Chasing a dream requires constantly changing the plan, and as I head into a hectic season of life, taking the pressure off of Friday’s post will be helpful for me. Hopefully, it will also give us a broader picture of military happenings today. Since I am currently at Tinker AFB, and that base has been pretty big in the news this week, I want to start there. Full disclosure: This is a very heavy topic, and my only goal is to help bring the situation into the open so that we can begin to problem-solve.
Since January of this year, Tinker AFB in Oklahoma City has had 17 deaths. Eleven of those deaths were the result of natural causes or accidents. The other six are under investigation. Most of the deaths came from civilians who worked on the base rather than uniform service members, but we don’t know any details beyond that.
The story was initially broken by www.Military.com (you can read it here.) This is an issue that is going to be taken seriously. While I don’t have many more details about these deaths (and I am not going to share any more information that I have purely because most of what I hear could very well come straight from the rumor mill), I do want to bring the situation to light in this space.
I want to share firsthand what I have seen done at Tinker when a squadron loses a member. The circumstances are irrelevant to the conversation. What is important is how I saw it treated. The squadron gathered together to hear the information about who passed and whatever details were available. Flights were canceled for the week. People were allowed to take whatever time they needed to grieve. People were allowed to process their grief in their own way.
And most importantly, people were not put on a timeline for their grief. It was made very clear that the pain of this loss could hit at any point, whether it was that day or six months from now, and if and when that day came, that person could take the time to grieve, no questions asked. A memorial service was held on the base, and the funeral would be considered a permissive TDY for anyone who wanted to go.
This was the first time I experienced something like this on base and something so close to home for my husband’s squadron. The response to it blew me away, and it truly felt like the Air Force wanted to honor the person who was gone and respect the people left behind. I don’t know if this is standard protocol, though. And even if it is, I know it matters so much who is in leadership at the time because all those things can be treated as ways to honor the deceased or as boxes to check to get back to work.
I hope everyone in leadership treats it like the first option, though. I hope they understand how devastating a loss is not just for the family and those who knew the person but also for the peripheral people in their lives. When tragedies happen, we all have to face the question of what if it had been us or someone we love? We can’t stop bad things from happening. We can’t eliminate all risks in our life. But we can be there for one another, and showing up is all that was ever asked of us.
I hope this doesn’t hit close to home for you. But if it does, don’t be afraid to talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be a therapy session. It doesn’t have to be through Tricare if you worry about it appearing on your record. Mental health is such a big issue in our day and age. Military life further strains our health, and even if our worst days don’t seem that bad by comparison, please reach out to someone. Regardless of what caused these deaths and how close we were to those individuals, our mental health can still be impacted. We never need to justify why we feel the way we do. We don’t need to compare struggles. We just need to trust ourselves when we feel like something isn’t quite right. If you want to talk to someone (seriously, don’t wait until things are bad to do this if you have a choice), then the military offers so many options through Military OneSource, the Chaplain’s Office and dialing 988 can even connect us to a line specifically for military members and their loved ones.
Bad things happen every day, and part of being prepared for that is knowing where to turn when we can’t handle it. And I am sharing this today because I believe more transparency will do us a lot of good. The more we know about what’s happening to our military members, the more we can support them. And the better we know they are supported, the more likely families are to stay in the military. Everything is connected, and everything matters, so take care of each other, and let’s make sure we are holding the military accountable for caring for its people.