Get Back On The Line
It’s easy for me to lose focus. Between adding on a new “job,” my writing goals, blog growth plans, and living life with a one-year-old, it is easy to get off track. It’s a constant struggle for everyone, no matter how many directions they are being pulled in. Work, relationships, parenting, pet ownership, living life, and chasing our dreams all want a spot on our plate.
It’s easy to do dishes instead of writing because my son will wake up from his nap soon, and breakfast must be cleaned before we can eat lunch. It’s easy to spend more time getting my new insurance job up and running rather than working on my dream because a lot of time- sensitive pieces have to be taken care of before I can start selling. And it’s always easy to play on the floor with my son doing simple things that he thinks are absolutely hilarious, all the while ignoring my dream.
Here’s the thing: all of this stuff is important. Yes, the dishes need to be done. As much as I prefer to hand that task off to my husband, coming home to a dirty sink is not the warm welcome I’d like. I have to take care of the nitty-gritty details, like getting my license, contracts, and training sorted, which are all essential things to do before I can go back to the field. And, of course, spending time making my son laugh is crucial for our relationship and his development.
All of these things are equal in the sense that they take up space on our plates. They are all responsibilities that we are thinking about constantly. They are all things that cannot be neglected. Sure, watching Netflix might take up time on our plate and theoretically could be neglected. However, if winding down with a serial killer documentary at the end of the night helps us relax and recoup, then that’s not necessarily something we need to sacrifice. And, even if we did, how valuable is the time we had saved when it was only ever spent late at night after the workday is done and the kids are in bed?
Achieving our dreams is as easy as going from Point A to Point Z. There are a lot of checkpoints in between, but staying on track can be pretty tricky. The problems come about when we move quickly from one point to another before hitting a considerable pause. Chasing our dream could look more like A, B, C, D, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, etc. Those long stretches are challenging. We reach a plateau of progress. Even if we know and understand that we are on the right track building to something, it can be difficult to look at the same thing every day while feeling like the next checkpoint isn’t anywhere close.
Take my writing, for example. Consistency with posting is what gains followers and gets Google’s attention so that my website ranks higher. But not much has changed since I started based on the metrics I get on a monthly basis. Things are increasing steadily, and then they drop back. I’m probably not doing everything right, but I’m definitely not doing everything wrong. It’s just going to take a long time to see the results I’m looking for at the rate I’m going. So on days when allergy season is kicking my butt, it’s a lot harder to get a blog post done.
For most of our dreams, we can lay out pretty specific checkpoints between where we are and where we want to be. We can see each letter of the plan and know exactly what that line looks like to get from A to Z. Our job is to stay on the line and to get back on the line every time we get knocked off. Responsibilities in life will get us knocked off if we aren’t careful. And we can knock ourselves off plenty by getting bored or frustrated with the process.
The option always exists to put one dream on the back burner for another. I could shelve my writing goals until my son starts going to school, which would buy me a few hours every day to focus on my dream without taking time away from him. But I wouldn’t be happy doing that. I need room to express different facets of myself. I need multiple dreams in my life at once. Call me impatient or ungrateful, but I don’t want to wait years to start my dreams, and I haven’t had enough come true yet to be satisfied.
Finding the balance between all the responsibilities and dreams in life is for you to discover for yourself. The things that work for me and my family don’t have to come close to what is right for you. It is helpful to see how other families balance these decisions, but those decisions don’t happen in a vacuum. They are the result of the relationships, roles, responsibilities, values, and mental load that exists within them. The most important thing is that it fits where we’re at and where we are heading and that when distractions come, we get back on the line as quickly as possible.