The third dream I checked off my list was visiting Canada in September. This dream had a clear deadline, and I knew I would achieve it at the start of the year because I was a bridesmaid in a wedding up there. It would have taken quite a bit to stop me from being there, so it was pretty much a given that I would achieve it. But this dream certainly looked different than I expected. I am incredibly grateful for the trip and thoroughly enjoyed being there for my friend’s wedding, but I don’t feel like I checked visiting Canada off the list for several reasons.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all! The two holidays don’t always overlap, but this year, the first night of Hanukkah falls on Christmas Day.  All the more reason to celebrate December 25th with family, at least in my house.  There is no place I would rather be on a holiday than with my family, but I know that is not the case for everyone. Being raised in a religiously blended family had some downsides, but mostly, it was all positive.

I wanted to share two principles that were instrumental in meeting my favorite author back in October.  First and foremost, we are a walking billboard for the things that matter to us, and we either add to or diminish the credibility of those things.  There’s a trend on social media that says, “If they wanted to, they would,” and I 100% buy into that concept.  As military families, we are well aware of that truth in the world because we see relationships move heaven and earth to stay connected while others put all the responsibility on one party.

Back in October, I had a second dream come true.  I got to meet my favorite authors, Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Liendenbach.  I set this dream to be completed this year with relatively low expectations of achieving it.  Any dream that requires meeting/interacting with another person can always be trickier because you have to have access to that person.

 I haven’t forgotten my dreams for this year since I’ve been gone.  During the past three months, I have had three more dreams come true, and they all played out differently than expected.  At the beginning of this year, I created a list of twelve dreams I wanted to achieve in 2024.  I’ve now checked five of those off the list. 

It has been a little over three months since I last wrote on the blog. My break was primarily unintentional, but I was fully aware when I decided to stay in it. I didn’t have a good reason for taking that time off. Life got crazy, and my new estate planning work turned out to be heavier than I expected, but none of that explains why I took three months off.

Like I shared on Monday, last week was a hell week. It was truly awful, and I am just glad that it is behind me. But in every moment, no matter how bad things got, there was something to be grateful for. This post is not to shame anyone for not finding gratitude in their situations. I just want to remind myself that there is beauty in the chaos. And as a believer in a higher power, I see miracles in the pervious week.

Two weeks ago, Murphy hit me with the double punch of losing a nanny and infesting the house with caterpillars. The update on that story is that our home has moths from all the caterpillars we did not get out in time. That was the hardest I've been hit up until last week, when Murphy came in guns blazing.

If we can't depend on motivation to carry us through to achieving our dreams, then we have to depend on ourselves. The good news is that we have been relying on ourselves to get through things for a long time. The bad news is that we may not have used the best strategies when left to our own devices. John Maxwell talks a lot about the fact that decision-making is overrated while decision management is underrated.

So let’s answer the question from Monday, how do we keep our motivation when the going gets tough (or boring)? The answer is, we don’t. Motivation doesn’t last. It is a gift that gets us into motion, but we have to rely on physics to keep us in motion. We are constantly held by the law of inertia.

You know the old saying, “When man plans, the gods laugh,” that’s pretty much how this week has gone for me. We are week three into this TDY, and Murphy hit me with a double punch. For those who haven’t met Murphy yet, let me explain.

Last week was the first time I've taken an entire week off of the blog since starting it a year and a half ago. Honestly, I don't have a good reason for why. I spent last week on vacation at the beach, but being on vacation has never stopped me before. And I spent almost no time on the beach during that vacation because we happened to go the same week as Hurricane Debby. It's hard to relax on the beach while a hurricane blows massive amounts of wind and sand your way.

I'm sorry for the delay in getting this post up. Honestly, Wednesday was such a crazy day of solo parenting and traveling. I had managed to write the post before Wednesday since I knew it would be crazy, but the night got away from me. I visited a friend in the hospital, which was really nice, but I stayed significantly later than I had planned. By the time I got back to the in-laws around midnight, remembering to upload my blog was the last thing on my mind.

We may be seasoned pros at separations, but I bet some people here have yet to tackle their first night alone. And probably more of us haven't spent the first night alone at this new duty station. I am very lucky that it took seven months to happen at the new base, but last night was my first night alone in the new house. Every new home and separation will require a system that makes us feel safe and comfortable.

I love the "ready, fire, aim" principle when chasing a dream. This concept states that we should get a plan 60% ready to go and then go all in on it. After we've had some experience, we can return to the drawing board and adjust our aim. We do this because we will never be 100% confident in our plans, and so often, people get trapped in a cycle of planning that they never actually put something into action.

Our lives are constantly changing. People come in, and people go out. There are always births and deaths, weddings and funerals. Life changes fast, and the military makes sure of that. The age-old adage of “expect the unexpected” isn’t something many of us can actually prepare for.

One of the most frustrating things that I hear from fellow military spouses has to do with employment. It is hard enough to find a job, let alone one that fits our education, experiences, and salary goals. It is also hard to grow with any job, not just because we move constantly, but because we have the perception of moving constantly. 

Chasing a dream is all about managing expectations. When we have the appropriate expectations for what we are entering, we can maintain our energy much more easily. There is a balance in setting expectations. Optimists have their hopes dashed too quickly, while pessimists can lose hope altogether.  

I have always been fascinated by the lottery. I'm talking about the jackpot millions that people win, not the short story by Shirley Jackson that scared anyone who read it in grade school. When we talk about it in regards to money rather than being stoned to death or heading into the Hunger Games, it is a fun, crazy proposition. The idea that someone could win mega-millions by just being lucky is incredibly appealing.

It is so vital that we maintain our passion, effort, and attention to detail throughout chasing a dream. Losing any of those ingredients can be a one-way ticket to losing our momentum toward our dreams. We have to do everything in our power to ensure we do not grow weary in well-doing.